LOVE ME, LOVE MY LOVER

Jerlyn and Alvin, both in their 20s, never expected that falling in love would cause Jerlyn to fall out with those closest to her. The budding romance between Jerlyn and her neighbour, Alvin, was met with strong objection from her family when they came to know about it. For a while, it seemed that the young couple could never have a “happily ever after” story.

The young lovebirds’ romance became a problem as both her sister Jolyn and mother Madam Ong were convinced that Alvin was not the right guy for Jerlyn. Besides being neighbours, Alvin and Jerlyn had been friends with each other for a couple of years. Before they started dating half a year before, Alvin was seen to be with different girls every few months and that led to Jolyn and Madam Ong believing that he was a Casanova.

As Jerlyn got closer with Alvin, her relationship with Jolyn and Madam Ong became more distant. Jerlyn resented her family for trying to break them up when she felt that Alvin was perfect for her. A happy-go-lucky and open-minded girl, she believed that she and Alvin shared so much in common and had faith that their relationship would go the distance. This intrusion of her mom and sister into her love life inevitably soured their relationship.

While that was the main issue, it was also discovered that Jerlyn was also upset with Madam Ong for seemingly favouring Jolyn over her. She shared that this was particularly obvious after Jolyn’s delivery of a baby boy. Since then, Jolyn was staying with them and Madam Ong pulled out all the stops to make sure she was well taken of. This made Jerlyn go quite wild with jealousy. Their bickering became more frequent and heated, until one day, Jolyn had resorted to calling the police. The police suggested that the family consider mediation to” talk out” their unhappiness with each other, to which all three were agreeable.

During mediation, the mediators reminded the trio of the special relationship that they shared as a family, emphasising to them that blood was indeed thicker than water. While one may develop valuable relationships with others outside the family, one should also be mindful of the special ties and bond that family members share. Opening their heart and hearing each other out, it was obvious that all three members valued one another but were also at the same time deeply affected by each other’s actions or behaviour. Without voicing out such concerns, their misunderstandings deepened over time and eventually tore them apart. The mediators emphasised the need for this family to improve their communication. Instead of bickering, shouting and screaming, they should express their concerns by showing more love and talking it out calmly.

Towards the end of the session, while Madam Ong and Jolyn were still apprehensive about Alvin, they were agreeable to respect Jerlyn’s choice, and promised to give their blessings to Jerlyn and Alvin if they do get married one day. From that session, Jolyn also had a better understanding of this special love that her family has for her which sometimes may hurt but should never be taken for granted. Thus, constant effort to communicate with your family members is perhaps the best way to keep that love alive and growing.

[Names and other identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals whose stories are portrayed in this article.]